Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
