He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
