So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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