Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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