Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
