It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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