I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
