He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
