I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
