I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
