Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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