I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
