Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
