Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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