drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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