I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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