even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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