I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
