it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
