you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
