Are we in a gay sports bar?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
