you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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