did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
