saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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