if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
