it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
