Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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