While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
