my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
