I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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