I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
