Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
