Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
