called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
