we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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