His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
