Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
