SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
