I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
