I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
