Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
so much tequila, so little girl.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
