So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
