She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
