I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
