when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
