that's an acceptable place to lick
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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