can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
