i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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