I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
my poor anus
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
