i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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