I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
