i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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