I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You can't motorboat a personality
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
